<3

Thursday, February 28, 2008

yes.

these past few days,

tried many ways to keep myself from thinking abt anything irrelevant.

and yes,

isnt is ironic how much time and effort we used to collect money,

but need only little time n effot to use them?

i did.

and would have to disipline myself from repeating it again.

ever.

i've been pampering myself with sweet nothings.

too much i guess.

bec the bf pampers me a lot too.

*grins*

i know i'm gonna have to take supp papers.

no doubts abt it.

i seriously dont want to continue doing my diploma la can?

sigh.

wonder what will happen if i get kicked out of sch.

boyfriend has been very much the only one thats

with me through this difficult time.

thank you.

he's still here despite whatever shit i've given to him.

i'm so thankful i have you.

lesson learnt this week?

letting go is hard.

but its easier if we have to.

not want to.

just so you know.

at 6:50 PM

Monday, February 25, 2008

just when i slowly start to love us,

you gave me another reason not to.

now i remembered why i didnt want to depend on you

(or maybe couldnt).

expectations bring dissappointment.

i'd love a guy who does thing without being told.

maybe you should learn from yahya.

at 4:01 PM

Thursday, February 21, 2008

i love the internet.

the wonders it does.

and what one can do with it.

i couldnt get horizontal.

so i blog-hopped.

and i really did blog hopped to so many ppl's blog.

reading most of these people's entries.

or achives.

how most of them blogged about their bf.

and how pretty much in love they are.

makes me feel so _______.

oh well.

all my friends are up till late.

studying!

why cant i be like them?

sigh.

been having sleepless nights.

and it's definately a bitch.

n the best part is,

i'm werking on morning shift tmrw.

best!

for some random reasons,

i feel like i've lost you.

not loosing.

L O S T.

oh well.

here's one song for you.

you dont know what you've done to me.

* i should be thankful for everyday.

at 3:48 AM

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

my phone's been more silent lately then it has ever been.

many things changed so quickly.

its hard to keep up.

its the study week.

and i havent even read a word from any book.

cant i just give up?

i'm not sure what's wrong with my relationship.

but i'm pretty sure its me.

you told me i werked too much.

i didnt had time for you.

and when i took the time off for you,

this is what happens.

sigh.

there's so much more i want to say.

but i cant basically pour everything here.

might as well just end here.

till then.

* you've changed. yes you. you should know who you are.

and i'm utterly disappointed.

i'd still be here for you if you ever need me.

afterall, what are friends for.

at 10:27 PM

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Lesson Learnt today.

Learn to love what we have and not ask for more.

cos after it came true, i just wished i didnt wish for that wish in the first place.

at 1:48 AM

Friday, February 15, 2008

today,

i realise how much so many things have changed.

and i miss every single little thing.

Its always nice to see

the different ways

different people celebrates Vday.

mine was simple.

but indeed a nice one.

thank you very much.

caught jumper.

ate at new york new york.

and bowling.

i feel so drained.

physically.

mentally.

emotionally.

tmrw's the start of few straight days of werk again.

and i just feel like giving up on sch.

sigh.

at 12:26 AM

Monday, February 11, 2008

been werking from wed.

and i'll be having a break on thurs.

and the cycle starts again.

i guess werk does helps me out a lot.

not only do i get paid for werking.

i get fun.

plus reasons to keep my mind away from the troubles in life.

maybe thats the reason i work a lot.

not for the money.

i have money.

but not sure what to do with it.

lol.

caught ah long yesterday.

lol.

the show was funny lah.

what more is there to blog about?

i already missed sch today

even though it the last week of sch.

and what's there left to look forward to this week?

valentines?

for some reasons no.

please let it go by quick.

*i can see my whole word changing cos of you.*

at 1:20 PM

Thursday, February 07, 2008

What does this word really mean?

well i guess too much time really got me thinkin.

what's a boyfriend?

what's the role of a boyfriend?

what can or cant he do.

what should or shouldnt he do.

what he's suppose or not supposed to know.

when he should or shouldnt be there.

how am i suppose to feel with him?

how am i suppose to react towards his actions?

what makes a perfect boyfriend then?

idk.

i myself know that i'm not a good girlfriend either.

i get pissed off easily.

i get angry easily.

i get hurt easily.

i cry easily.

i find it hard to uderstand ppl,

but expect ppl to understand me.

i dont like listening to ppl nor ppl pressurising me,

yet i still do it to ppl.

oh wait.

the most important one.

i dont have time for the boyfriend.

how do i know?

i dont have to be reminded off every single day.

yes2.

i'm busy working cos i have ten kids to attend too.

meet me when you are FREE.

as hard as it may seem to believe,

i'm trying my best to adjust with all the changes.

adjusting to suit people's needs.

what people want me to be.

but its not so *plain sailing*.

and you breathing down my neck,

is definately not helping either.

i slowly found myself absent minded.

and what i feel?

its hard to tell.

even harder then finding a needle in a haystack.

there's only a week of school left.

but i'm way behind then i thought i had been.

i'm dead.

i need to be able to make it for my major proj next sem.

i have to.

at 5:25 AM

Monday, February 04, 2008

sweeney todd with naim,
zul, danial and din was super hilarious yesterday.
the show wasnt all that.
but at least we had fun.
(:

my hands are aching.
i think its due to the fact that we had to carry
tons of 1 litre syrup over.
lol.

sch's left with only 2 weeks including this one.
a week of study break.
2 papers.
and i'm done with 2.2.
hopefully.

at 2:05 PM

Friday, February 01, 2008

Speaking in good Malay isnt really my cup of tea.

But i couldnt really find other words to describe this.

Just 1 malay sentence.

Kau bagai kacang lupekan kulit.

To who?

saper makan chilli,die terase pedas.

Kalau org yg sepatutnyer terasa pedas tak raser pedas,

kau bodoh.

kau susah,saper kau cari?

at 1:33 AM