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June 2005
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x

!rock
image"e
Monday, October 31, 2005

erlosh
so many tings happenin.
tryin my best to kip up.

thursdae bdae wan.
was fun.
watch transporter 2.
p arcade.
bla3.


fridae semue plan nk p bugis.
den asri ngn abg dier gaduh.
he came my hs cryin.
lyk u rarely get to come across ppl like hym.
so was realli touched.
imagine havin a bro like tt.
futhurmore,their age diff is onie a yr.
den ijal da kuar den semue mit hym sal rindu.
so asri,adip ngn alip buke at my umah n me n nad buker pat haagen dazs.
went home jap den kecoh over tamp sec nyer yrbook jap den we all kuar at d same tym.
me n nad watch flightplan den dey all go lepak.

semlm p geylang ngn family.
amik my aju den eat.
bla3.
saw alip along d way den hakim ikot dier.
den terserempka ngn zubair.
bla3.
after 12 gitu kte p joggin.
hekz.
main2.
gaduuh ngn hym again as usual.

well fer todae
i had tution.
he came n anta
plan to buker samer2
bt he was late psl tdo pt kwn umah dier.
n gues wat?
yup
fought again.

so i gotten my art ppr oredy.
damn hard.
i just wanted hym to help mie a bit in my art
like how i used to really help him so tt he will do it.
but i know in d end he didnt come fer all his art exams.
secretly yet he didnt tell me.
fine i kept quiet abt it bt was kinda disappointed cos i really helped hym.
bt wen it comes back to me.
he won even stay to look .

so ya.
we're off fer now.
yet i'm wondering if its temporary or permanent.
but i know watever comes next is fer my own gd.
with or without hym.

was really lookin ferward to spend my rayer with hym
spend my bdae wit hym.
to werk wit hym.
n so much more.
i just don feel like wrytin ryt now.
get bax ltr ya.
wish me luck fer tmrw

at

Friday, October 28, 2005

i don see wats d use of holding on animore.
i'm attached bt i dun feel like it.
like wen ure attached,u noe shudnt get too close wit other guys.
like da cam biase cam gitu dulu cos i noe automatically tt i'm attached.
n i won get too close.
bt i dun feel tt way now.
lyk now i try tell myself nt to get too close to a guy cos i'm attacthed.
bt i cant cos honestly i feel like i'm single ryt now.
still feel nk ader matair padahal da ade.
i donoe how to xplain.
like kte name jek matair.
bt i feel nthin btwn us now.
lyk we barely mit.
especially since o lvl realli near.
den wen we contact,mesti diam atau sakit ati.
though i mls to contact hym at tyms,i tried hard nt to let it overcome me.
i'm scared i get t0o use without hym.
den wen i haf plans n he wanna join,i feel iritated.
like dun wan hym to follow animore.
n lyk i wud rather do other tings den mit hym.

i'm slowly startin to feel tt way.
aru pk nk kerje ngn dier den he mls oredy nk kerje.
den like wasted.
we went thru all dose shit bcos he nk werk den in d end he nk stop werk.
like d damage is done.
at least prove tt its worthwhile.

i'm not sure if tings wud ever b d same.
but is it worth hanging on.?

i've been mixing wit many ppl dese days.
n i notice d changes in me.
i'm nt gonna say cos i noe mesti menyakitkan ati dier.
Maybe one day we can try it again
And maybe things can be a little different
So lets just kiss and say good bye

at

Notice Me ~Ft.~ Angelina
by Nb Ridaz
album: NB Ridaz.com (2005)
(I wanna let you know that I'll always love you baby..)

[Angelina]
Sometimes I think about everything that we've been through (come on)
And I pray that you would just open your eyes
I love you (I love you too, girl)
And I need you (And I need you too)
So please dont throw our love away...
(Forget me, girl)

[Nb Ridaz]
Since the day you and I snuck away to be alone
I knew from that night something special went on
It must of been the first kiss, you told me that
No one else in the world made you feel this
I felt the same way too, but nothing stays the same
Im sorry for the tears Im sorry for the pain
You were the one that always made things right
I promise you this though you got a friend for life
Maybe one day we can try it again
And maybe things can be a little different
So lets just kiss and say good bye
Cuz I really cant stand the pain to seein' you cry..

[Angelina]
I've given everything
I loved you endlessly
But when it comes to me
You don't even notice me
(Repeat)

[Nb Ridaz]
All that is mine is yours thats what I said
Treat you with love and respect in every way
You want it I gave you, you need me I was there
Now you treat me like if Im not here
I loved you I need you, dont wanna let go
If you want somebody else please let me know
Can't take it no more, I feel Im dyin inside
Is this the price I pay for handing you my life
I know I'm not perfect but I truly cared
So if you wake up one mornin and Im not there
Just rembemer I loved you, it will never be the same
Gave you everything and you threw it all away

[Angelina]
I've given everything
I loved you endlessly
But when it comes to me
You don't even notice me
(Repeat)

[Nb Ridaz]
I gave you my good and my bad, my heart and my soul
My trust, my money, my time, what more could you ask
From a man even when times were hard I held out my arms
And held you and even accepted you through whatever weather
But now I feel it we're at the end of the road
Whatever we had now I gotta let go nights like this
I wish rain drops would fall to cover my tears
Wishing I could replace all those wasted years of loving someone
Who couldnt love me back and now again
I gotta start from scratch but I know
I've given you my everything

[Angelina]
I've given everything
I loved you endlessly
But when it comes to me
You don't even notice me
(Repeat)

at

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

if i cud fly away,
den i won come back no more
i'd turn around
just to see u fer d last tym
see now i noe.
hey tt it wont b easy
i've done fought in a battle n i made it tis far
i got a few more feet
bt its still d longest yard...

haha..
d lyrics so nice.
n so true fer me.
okies.
so i jush came home..
from mitin arif,alip n adib..
tadi me,nad,adib,arif ngn akim buke pat pizza hut.
den blanje adib tindik ngn buy earings fer arif ngn akim..
den mit alip.
ddk den arnd 11 jmp hym jap den mit dem bax.

really nthin much..
but at least its not as boring as it used to be.
tis wk wud b their last week of sch..
but i'm havin my mly ppr tis cumin mondae,
haiya..
den startin frm next mondae da start o lvls season..
gggrrr..
so irritating..
aru nk njoy..
haish..
tmrw will b safwan's bdae.
hmsh.
donoe wat to get hym . .

tak tau ape nk tulis actualli.
just terigt yg tt tym dey overnyt here.
so funnie.
semue ngh tdo den alip conteng muke semue org kecuali asri uhz.
tah apasal .
beh ptg die tdo nad to0k revenge.
sementare akim ngn alip tdo,
me,asri,adib ngn nad main heartattack..
kekek siak.
mcm bdak kecik.
but gerek uhz.

well abt hym..
i donoe lah.
i'm also as lost as he is.
i noe he loves me a lot.
but i donoe lah.
all my feeling are tangled up.
btwn hym n all my surroundiings..
haiya.
serious..
i noe he'd get fed up cos i always say donoe.
i noe he doesnt like wat i've been doing tis days..
but these days was d ferz tym i had fun eversince he started werkin.
but wats hym without fun.?
n wats fun without hym.?
if i had to cho0se fun over hym..
i'll sae i donoe again.

i noe o lvl da nk dtg.
but i don seem to be in d study mo0d lyk i used to.
is tt a bad sign.>?
he said i ikot kan hati sgt
n he said d relationshiop has always been abt me.
sumtyms i just wish its nt always abt me.
bt d onie way it to let it b abt hym..
n onie hym..
no more me.
ryt.?
i noe at tyms i wanna let it go.
bt my heart doesnt want to.
by lyk he said i shudnt ikotkan my ati sgt
so wat am i suppose to do.?

at

heylo!
so yup.
my comp alryt oredy..
finaly..
after quite sometym..
okies.
so wat have i been up to lately..?
not sure.

i guess tings r okay fer now.
last thurs was my o lvl sci prac..
phys was a killer fer me..
hakz.
chem was ok.
went watch skeleton key wit nad n kimek..
buker at my umah while ain went home.
well tt nyt ton wit nad,dumb2,arif,asri,adib,alip n my bro..
been quite some tym since i last nt went home.
found a kitten n played wit it everywhere we go.

fridae nyt dey came n slept over at my hs..
watched rundown..
sat nad came down n met us wit d a small kitten..

sundae was fun.
dey overnyt again..
didnt slept till arnd 9 i tynk.
sahur tym was a chaos..
so many ppl at my hs..
no food at all..
hakz.
stayed in d room n talked while adib slip..
hahakz.
sleepin beauty..
talked wit alip a lot abt last tym..
how we met n everyting..
was fun though..
soon one by one slept..
nad.. den asri den me..
not sure abt alip n my bro cos i slept ferz..
wake up on mondae to fynd alip painting my living room..
terpranjat uat seketike..
hakz.

yupsh so yesterdae dey help painted my whole house orange..
alip n akim i mean..
asri n adib asleep..
me n nad helped a bit though..
we woke up in d afternoon..
no suprise..
so wen adib n asri wake up..
alip n akim slept..
adin went home n bath while me n asri n nad tok2.
den nad oso wen home to bath..
around 10 to 5 min later adib came bax..
nad came bax..
played card games.
bla3.
nad ordered pizza..

n yah..
all 6 of us bule at my hs..
eatin rice..
n pizza..
akhirnyer semue perut lebih besar..
hahakk..

after tt dey went out,me n nad went lib fer a while den mit dumb2..
i tynk tts all..
mlm adib slept here again while d rest went home.

todae i woke up late..
n no one is at home.
xcept fer my maid n nenek..
dumb2 werkin.

so here i am updatin tis ting..

i tynk tts all fer now den..
til den..
babai..
=)

at

Thursday, October 13, 2005

hey,
nope my comp is still down..
i'm here at farah's hs..
just usin her comp..
checked friendster fer a while..

tings are really in a mess fer me ryt now..
he's startin to work..
i'm startin to finally get back my best fren..
n o lvl is around d corner..
everytin is changin so fast..
i haven been cumin to sch fer 12 sch days straight..
he started werkin n he'd barely b dere..
he admits he has a crush on smone..
i noe i'm tryin my best to trust hym..
but its harder wen it had happened in d past..
i noe sumtyms i tynk too much..
i just want tings to be better btwn u n me..
btwn us..
i don wan history to repeat itself again..
bt sumtyms i just feel so bad..
tt gal is lyk way prettier den me..
n its lyk.. i'm in d way or sumtynk..
its lyk sumtyms i feel i'm just not gd enuff fer hym..
lyk he's so baik.. n i lyk so d opposite..
he deserves smone who's better towards hym..

u see d point is i love hym very very much..
very very very much
a lot indeed..
sumtyms i get so selfish cos of ur love..
its lyk i oways nid u..
ur attention..
we r startin to fyt over small tings..
i just wished we cud b lyk b4..
bt tings r so different now..

i'd b goin out without hym now..
n i wud barely get d chance to mit hym..
i thank god at tis point of major tym, im not alone lyk i used too..
mayb i cud get back lyk how i used to b..
b4 i ever get messed up by love..haish

hw cud i study if he's oways on my mind..
3 weeks more b4 my actual ppr..
i just hope i can make it..
i'm not l0okin ferward to d next dae lyk i used too..
i just wished tt tym wud stop..
i know if he'd werk he'll get money n we can njoy..
bt i don want d money..
u re d one hu stressed ure body fer tt money,go n reward urself..
i don deserve it either..
but money isnt as valuable as tym..
i don care if u had no money..
all i want is only ur tym..

n as fer at home..
i haf probs regarding my bro..
i noe ppl get off track along d way..
i did..
n now he did too..
but at least he's makin d effort to get on d ryt track..
but no one seems to notice all his little sacrificies..
i feel useless..
i cant help hym..
i dun wan my dad to send hym overseas..
i'd miss hym like shit..
n i don want to depend on my sis onie..
cos i love hym more den my sis..
sometimes i wish i cud just blow my baby brother's tears,fears n worries away..
i just wish tt tings wud turn out ryt..
n everytin is worth while..

tings r screwin up..
but i noe god nvr gave one more burden den dey cud handle..
god noes i'm strong..
i noe i'm strong..
i'd make it through..
wit or without someone..


at