you have your point of view,
well i have mine too.
where do i start.
you thought that things could be better btwn us like b4.
well i used to always think that way too.
like i said.
used to.
you come and go.
come when he's not around.
come when you guys break up.
go when he's back.
believe me,
i couldnt notice this pattern.
till people kept telling me about this one too many times.
tell me again before he went DB and besides work,
when was the last time you called just to ask how was i doing?
you know jolly well i cant contact you.
and i'm hardly online now.
you said i was there when you always needed me.
but were you there when i needed you?
you said i've changed?
have you ever wondered why?
i havent.
just towards you.
i'm lazy.
why?
just bec you suddenly come back to my life,
i have to change my plans and all just for you?
when i know you're gonna go and i'll get back to my ways?
why should i be not lazy for you then?
i'm whiny?
bec i love whining to my bf.
i didnt whine to you,
mind you.
i'm fickle you said?
havent you know me enough that i have been fickled all this while?
i've become half the things that you hate in a girl.
so am i suppose to change for you?
look in the mirror.
you've changed to.
you've been more self centered and selfish then you ever were before.
you've been meaner too.
dont say i didnt try loving the new you too.
you get irritated easily?
you think i dont too?
but bec ily.
i dont shrug you off or say means words.
just to show your feelings.
you do.
you said you dont feel the love anymore.
not even when you're with me.
why is that so?
believe me.
i have always loved you.
asked around how much i used to talk abt you.
and how much i mssed you.
but then again,
why should i give you my 100%
when you dont even give me a 50%?
and you might think you're the only 1 feeling uncomfortable?
i felt like you've become a total stranger.

i still want us to be like before.
you dont know what i've been through.
despite what i've faced.
i'll give you a hint.
honestly,
most of my friends dont really like you.
like my ex bf's.
yan's the only 1 tt really respects you.
trust me.
or like the guys.
to tell you the truth,
last time they always asked me out,
and when they know i'm with you,
they always begged me not to bring you along.
every single time.
but i didnt want to leave you,
so instead i decided not to meet the guys.
i've told them b4 to respect you.
bec you are still my friend.
not only the guys.
my sec sch friends.
th ev people.
the silat people.
remember syaheed's bdae pit when you went missing with rahmat,
everyone keep telling me bad stuffs abt you.
but i fought back despite what ppl think.
i've always believe those people just judge you by what you did.
and that i knew youmuch better.
and you're more than that.

i'm not asking for much.
i just want you to start respecting me a friend first before i satrt respecting you back.
i'm not saying you cant always be with him.
or you must meet me everyday.
or even meet me once a week.
i just want you to at least call me up,
or something.
like at least once a month.
after all,
its not that we live so far away from each other.

its not that i'm all grown up.
while you're the one stuck.
i just learnt not to get too attached.
cos i know you'll be going again.
once he's back.
just like every other time.