<3

Thursday, July 31, 2008

haha.
the other day,
someone bravely told me swit lil bf some negative stuffs about me.
specifically speaking,
one of his 'didnt last very long' ex.

and so for the very first time,
i told her off myself.
if she ever had anything against me, i'm here.
straight to me.
not my bf.
she chickened out aft tt.
said my bf was the exaggerating one.
but she didnt know i was next to him,
the whole time they chatted.
(:

i dont get it.
what did i do to ever make 'these' kind of people feel this way?
i dont even come in contact with these people.
let alone meet them.
what's their problem with my existence?
it doesnt matter who is his ex.
or who's ex i am.
whats past is the past.
it should stay tt way.

its just a blog.
you create a blog to allow people 2 read it.
so whats the big deal aniway?

let's move on.
on sun.
went over to rais's place with fit.
he fractured his armm n got 2 weeks mc.
headed tamp mart to return my dvds aft tt.

monday was work.
then headed to sch to get my proj done.

and so was tuesday.

yesterday i didnt had socio lesson.
so i didnt came sch.
and had work tt night.
i hate working at bugis alrdy.
if it werent for some people,
i'd already quit.
there's so many lazy people there.
why should i care abt their feelings if they only think of themselves?

here's the disadv of having just 1 job.
if you get sick n tired of it,
a 2nd job is always another alternative route.

oh. and did i tell you i love the music there?
the remixes keeps my toe tapping.
lol.

the mth of aug is coming.
and so is someone's bdae!
nk buat ape eh?
(:

at 1:43 PM

Sunday, July 27, 2008

i missed this whole 3 days of work.
i had mc though.

yesterday made me realise so much.
like having just 1 friend can make a significant difference in ur life.
i know my best friend isnt always next to me all the time.
but that doesnt mean we're not close.
her presence in my life just makes a huge impact in my life.
and i for once,
thank god for letting me be with her.
so nad,
you should know how much i love you.
and thank you for being the best friend i ever had.
bec i've learnt, that someone doesnt even have a loyal friend.

besides that,
i learnt that a true friend is always there beyond any circumstances.
so thanks jar for being there even though its 6 in the morning.
and rais too,
for caring and being very brave abt it.

i wonder.
how can 2 people,
be so different,
yet was raised by the same parents?

What you give,
is always what you get.
please grow up lah eh.
deal your probs urself.
and for once,
please start thinking of other people too.
esp ur mum and dad.
you're not the only one living here.
and you wont even be here without them.
think for once,
where u get ur shelter,
ur clothes,
ur money,
ur food.
and how much u nvr helped anyone else but urself.
kept telling urself ure mature.
funny huh?
how just 1 prob and you cant even handle it.

and ty bf.
for being with me
n making sure i'm okay.

at 3:41 PM

Friday, July 25, 2008

i cannot seem to send pic from my hp to my laptop.
so this is gonna be a boring post.

todays was supposed to be working 12 hrs.
but its the time of the month again.
and i cant take it.
as always.

yesterday was the 8th with bf.
caught prom night at cathay.
had a little walk here and there.
thats all.

wed was just abt work and an hour of school.
i start finding that working at bugis is becoming a drag now.
but lucky that nite i had nad,wan and dan.
and thanks eh wan masak mee pedas2.
da tau dan and i cnt take it.
lol.
there rest was just on my nerves the whole time.
i did my part,
changed and left early with nad wan and dan.

tues was to little india with nad.
the bf work every day this week.
so aft tt accompanied nad get her lingerie
had fun though.
hee!

monday was my first day working.
had so much fun.
and the time really flew.
i like it there. much better,

so thats about what i did the whole week.
nothing much.

oh!
and i found out someone reads my blog regularly lah sey!
cari ape entah eh?
die bkn matair aku lagi lah.
takde pape pasal die kat sini eh.
berusaha la kau nk dpt dia kat tpt lain.
haha.
(:

at 11:49 PM

Sunday, July 20, 2008

you have your point of view,
well i have mine too.
where do i start.
you thought that things could be better btwn us like b4.
well i used to always think that way too.
like i said.
used to.
you come and go.
come when he's not around.
come when you guys break up.
go when he's back.
believe me,
i couldnt notice this pattern.
till people kept telling me about this one too many times.
tell me again before he went DB and besides work,
when was the last time you called just to ask how was i doing?
you know jolly well i cant contact you.
and i'm hardly online now.
you said i was there when you always needed me.
but were you there when i needed you?
you said i've changed?
have you ever wondered why?
i havent.
just towards you.
i'm lazy.
why?
just bec you suddenly come back to my life,
i have to change my plans and all just for you?
when i know you're gonna go and i'll get back to my ways?
why should i be not lazy for you then?
i'm whiny?
bec i love whining to my bf.
i didnt whine to you,
mind you.
i'm fickle you said?
havent you know me enough that i have been fickled all this while?
i've become half the things that you hate in a girl.
so am i suppose to change for you?
look in the mirror.
you've changed to.
you've been more self centered and selfish then you ever were before.
you've been meaner too.
dont say i didnt try loving the new you too.
you get irritated easily?
you think i dont too?
but bec ily.
i dont shrug you off or say means words.
just to show your feelings.
you do.
you said you dont feel the love anymore.
not even when you're with me.
why is that so?
believe me.
i have always loved you.
asked around how much i used to talk abt you.
and how much i mssed you.
but then again,
why should i give you my 100%
when you dont even give me a 50%?
and you might think you're the only 1 feeling uncomfortable?
i felt like you've become a total stranger.

i still want us to be like before.
you dont know what i've been through.
despite what i've faced.
i'll give you a hint.
honestly,
most of my friends dont really like you.
like my ex bf's.
yan's the only 1 tt really respects you.
trust me.
or like the guys.
to tell you the truth,
last time they always asked me out,
and when they know i'm with you,
they always begged me not to bring you along.
every single time.
but i didnt want to leave you,
so instead i decided not to meet the guys.
i've told them b4 to respect you.
bec you are still my friend.
not only the guys.
my sec sch friends.
th ev people.
the silat people.
remember syaheed's bdae pit when you went missing with rahmat,
everyone keep telling me bad stuffs abt you.
but i fought back despite what ppl think.
i've always believe those people just judge you by what you did.
and that i knew youmuch better.
and you're more than that.

i'm not asking for much.
i just want you to start respecting me a friend first before i satrt respecting you back.
i'm not saying you cant always be with him.
or you must meet me everyday.
or even meet me once a week.
i just want you to at least call me up,
or something.
like at least once a month.
after all,
its not that we live so far away from each other.

its not that i'm all grown up.
while you're the one stuck.
i just learnt not to get too attached.
cos i know you'll be going again.
once he's back.
just like every other time.

at 11:55 PM

Friday, July 18, 2008

i read 1 of eek's post on her blog.
and for some reason's i've been feeling the same for so long.

here's what she said.
"wad's the use of havin frens hu in the end, do no good for you? why do sum people even tek the effort to go the xtra mile to help a fren in one way or anotha, when in the end, they'll leave you? aint saying tt a person can't help his or her fren but wat kind of help shud a person give to wat kind of fren?
to me, yes i do treasure a f'ship but to a certain extend. from past experiences, your closest fren is the one tt'll leave you in tym to cum. frens dun remember you for wat you've done, they'll remember you for wat u did not do and when they leave you, they wun talk bout the good tings you did, but the bad ones instead. so, isn't it betta off not havin frens?"

and for some unaccountable reasons,
i agree with her. a lot.
so tell me,
how do you distunguish a real friend?
or 1 who just needs company?

at 4:04 PM

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

my little sealion is finally home.
and what do you expect a little kid to buy from austria?
candies, bubblegums and chocs.
there's this cotton candy,
when you chew it,
it'll turn into bubblegum.
pretty cute.
haha.
and she bought me a bear too.
(:

so yesterday worked mornin shift.
had a lot of fun with ken and nad.
bloody pervert people.
oh.
and zai too.
nad had full shift so i met bf after work then we had dinner at ting seng.
walked to city hall and marina square.
then headed home.
at 12 midnight my fam and i went to the airport.
to fetch little sister.
the plane landed at 1.
but they came out at about 2.
was super happy to see her.
and my mum cried too.

the other friday,
me nad and the bf went to ecp.
we planned to head to sentosa.
but since eveyone was tired and
the lacked of time.
we didnt.
we tried tanning again.
but to no avail.
lol.
only nad got the tan lines.
i didnt even come close to dark.

qayyum is one crazy fella.
passed his tp the last thurs.
and got a bike on the day itself.
now he's driving everyone crazy.
esp bf.
your turn soon okay monyet?

school projects are starting very soon.
i hate sch.

AND I THINK I FINALLY KNOW WHAT I WANT TO BE WHEN I GROW UP.
HAHA.

and i wanna go singfest laaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!

at 3:33 PM

Sunday, July 06, 2008

i've not been feeling well the whole week.
but have indeed been better now.
sent amira to the airport on fri though.
she's going off for her choir comp for like at least 10 days in austria,
and other parts of europe.
damn lucky that little girl.
its been a few days.
and the house hasnt been the same without her.
hard to say this,
but come home soon sea lion.
u're missed.

you know.
i've been wondering.
let me think how should i phrase it.
for example.
ur bf's ex.
should you just hate them just bec they were his ex.
or there's just more to that?
does every girl feels the same hatred too?
come to think of it,
i dont feel tt way towards any of bf's ex.
not even the one tt last for 3 years.
yes there is 1 ex of my ex.
she had serious issues with her mouth.
as far as i can recall,
the rest are fine with me.
i'm still friends with my 1st ex's ex,
whom he actually left me for her.
and most of the rest too.
and i dont pretend to like them.
eh nana kan?

but there's this someone.
i cant say.
i do wonder why she hate me that much.
hard to say.
i used to like her a lot.
for plenty of reason why.
but the usual saying.
things changed.
maybe its bec she's doting on my ex.
oh wait.
doting doesnt sounds nice.
maybe whole heartedly into him.
but does that gives her the permission to not like me too?
mayb it was bec the prev hari raya outing?
in case you didnt knew,
i've always considered abt ur feelings.
believe it or not.
just that her bestfriend, and the guy himself tell me not to bother abt her.
i'm trying to resist saying all the other possible reasons why she hates me.
i dont want to start a fight.
i'll let you in on a secret.
i had always liked the fact tt it was her instead of other girls being with him.
bec i know she'd treat him right.

and another thing.
i give you a scenario.
imagine guy A and girl B are dating.
then one day. guy A decides to leave girl B for girl C.
who's at fault here?
do you blame girl C for rudely interrupting their relationship?
or do you blame girl B for not taking good care of guy A?
or maybe you should blame guy A for having a change of heart?
someone told me,
well the answer you picked actually determine how mature you really are.

and yes before i forgot.

i's always try to find.

what's the word mature really mean in a relationship.

bec believe me,

i've heard the word childish in mine 1 too many times.

but then again,

when i though this someone is mature,

they always prove me wrong.

so what is mature actually?

i've got so much issues here.
seriously.
but not this open.
i wont tell.

i'm just dead beat of this.
believe me,
it aint worth arguing over guys.

at 11:29 PM

Wednesday, July 02, 2008

i havent been to sch yet this week.

lol.

monday was out to zoo.

we went there kind of late.

so not much was accomplished.

had some this and that.

went home early.

thats all.

rais was admitted to hosp.

but i couldnt make it.

so i visited him the next day.

though he was discharged.

someone told me he got me a bdae gift.

his excuse was that he was broke at that point of time.

and now, asked his bro to get me a gift from overseas.

still waiting.

the bf and i have been going through pretty much a lot these days.

but we've made through it.

Lets just stay this way.

what else is there to blog about?

lol.

i've noticed that there's 2 types of parents in this world.

there's one who blames the child's friend for the way their child turn out.

and the other one who blames their child for eveyrthing even though they are not at fault.

honestly,which is the right way to bring up your own child?

i came acroos this pic. and this girl made me smile. (:

at 10:02 PM

Tuesday, July 01, 2008

4 round cats eyes!
(:

at 1:56 AM